Why I took my husband’s name, but understand why others don’t do the same

I know it’s a long title, but I wanted to get the message across.  (Also, in full honesty, the paperwork hasn’t come back yet so legally my name hasn’t changed. )

I’m at a point in my life where a lot of my friends are getting married.

Thankfully, we live in an age that doesn’t assume any real tradition about weddings or marriage.  Marriage and weddings used to be so uniform, but today a marriage can freely serve as the creative expression of a couple in living out their respective callings in Christ.

Before I got married, I was grateful for every person who asked me if I intended to change my name.  Their questions acknowledge that it was a difficult choice to make, and that it was indeed a choice that could be made.  I didn’t have to make the change, and I know many women who have elected not to change their name.

I respect and celebrate any woman who chooses not to change their surname. There are many reasons why someone would choose to keep their “maiden” name.  Some element of it is about a woman’s freedom and independence.  For some women, they choose to keep their name because so much of their identity is bound up in that title.  This identity may be sentimental or it may be financial.  A person’s name can become so iconic for them it may prove detrimental to their career to change their name.ross-findon-303091

My hesitancy was really bound up in my love for my family, and the honor our family maintains.  I’ve had the name Hawkins my whole life, and it carries more meaning for me than my first name because it is associated with an extended community unit.

Although I have family who do not share the same surname as I do, there is something unifying about being surrounded by a bunch of people who share your name.  Members of the Hawkins clan even wear the family crest in signet rings and pendants in the style of a Game of Thrones dynasty.

I am the first person in my family to lose the Hawkins name, or at least the surname, and that’s hard.

Names are important therefore name changes are also important.  I decided to take on my husband’s surname for two reasons.

The first is simple, William asked.  He has again and again acknowledged how difficult it is to let go of one name for another, and his honest support has made me view my name change as a beautiful gift I can give to him.  As I considered the issue while we were still engaged, I knew it was the best wedding gift I could ever give him, and it would demonstrate my love for him.

The other reason I chose to change my name is because name changes are consistently markers of spiritual change in the Bible.  Simon became Peter, Abram became Abraham, Sari became Sarah.*

Perhaps my favorite story of God changing someone’s name is when Jacob’s name is changed to Israel.  When Jacob wrested with the divine character in Genesis 32, he was seeking a blessing or good things to come his way.  In response, the divine figure both wounded and blessed Jacob, and gave him a new name to reflect his relationship with God.  His name went from being Jacob which means “grab by the heal” to Israel which means “wrestles with God.”  That name went on to be the title used of all the followers of YHWH in the Old Testament.

In that moment, the relationship between Jacob and YHWH shifted dramatically.  The relationship became much more familiar.  In a very real sense, the name Israel or “wrestles with God” did not just became a characterization for how Jacob interacted with God, but it reflects how all the faithful people interact with God.  The people of God don’t just worship and serve God; they wrestle with God through the good times and bad.   They ask for blessings and sometimes feel wounded.  They are engaged in a real, honest relationship in which identity is always on the line.

aaron-burden-58730My new surname is Newkirk which means “new church” in Dutch. In a way, our marriage represents the founding of a new community of faith.  Our family is a new little church, faithful to God through times of blessing and times of struggle.  I decided to change my name as marker of the new spiritual reality that we are entering into together.

 

*Saul/Paul was not a name change per se but the names used by the apostle when in different ethnic groups, Hebrew/Greek respectively.

Weight of Glory

Lessons from Ancient Corinth


Panorama of Ancient Corinth

When William and I were in Athens, we decided to take a bus ride along the Aegean coast from Attica to the Peloponnese. We crossed the canal that divided two landmasses and arrived at the Ancient Corinth Archeological site.

The site is further inland than modern Corinth, clustered at the foot of a great mountain where the Cortina Acropolis stands with muddled ruins of a former temple to Aphrodite.  The main road the ancients used led up to the city from the Port Cenchrea bellow and is still mostly intact. Visitors to the city would disembark from their ships and travel up to the road and through the massive gates. Passing through the towering columns, visitors would be met with a bustling street filled with shops, bathhouses, and fountains flanking either side of the dramatic road. The collection of rocks which stand there now was once Corinth’s agora where major city business and trade took place.

William and I wandered around the ruins speculating what each little shop and room could have been. We wondered where the shop was that Paul worked making tents with Aquila and Priscilla? Where could the ancient synagogue have been where Paul preached and baptized?

Some areas had informational signs pointing out highlights such as the Temple of Apollo and government buildings. There was one small sign on a large raised marble ledge, which could be seen at a distance if one were to enter from the main gate. This structure was the ancient Bema of the Corinth where city leaders and philosophers would address the people and sit in judgment over criminal matters and social disputes.

Corinthian Bema
Bema of Ancient Corinth

Acts 18 describes Paul’s 18-month stay in Corinth. His ministry there is characterized as rather successful: many were converted, people were baptized, and a church was founded from some of the Jewish inhabitants of the city.

However, things didn’t always go so smoothly. Eventually, some followers of Judaism in the city attacked Paul and accused the followers of Jesus and brought them to trial in front of the proconsul of the city named Gallio. Paul and other believers were dragged before the Bema for the whole city to witness. After a short trial, the city leader dismissed the charges, but the people were still enraged. The enraged crowd enacted their own mob justice beating Sosthenes, a follower of Jesus and leader in the synagogue, in front of the Bema.

In the first lines of Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, Sosthenes is mentioned as a co-author in the epistle. This suggests that although Sosthenes was beaten and Paul was put on trial in Corinth, both men stood firm in their faith, continued to spread the Gospel, and still cared about the wellbeing of the persecuted believers in Corinth.

If you visit ancient Corinth, you can actually climb up and stand on the Bema from were Paul was judge and Sosthenes beaten. From the platform you can see clear across the agora over the gates and to the port down by the sea bellow. The view is captivating. People on vacations are always chasing beautiful views, and William and I are no exception. But, the view from the Bema is different. The vista not only contains beauty, but also gravity. And if you turn to your right you’ll see a building block with a verse from one of Paul’s letters.

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” – 2 Corinthians 4:17

Stone Atop the Bema in Ancient Corinth

The moment I mounted the Bema, I was suddenly aware of the boldness and courage it took for Paul and other early Christians to preach the Gospel of Jesus. Every eye trained on them when they spoke. Some people were eager to find a reason to do them harm, and some eager to believe.  Paul and Sosthenes risked so much in loyalty to God’s calling on their lives, and I wonder if I could ever have the same conviction.

We are all surrounded by powers and social norms that push us to hide our beliefs and disregard Christ message of mercy and justice. It is part of the human condition to prefer the path of least resistance.

The final feet of the Roman road that Paul first took to get to Corinth ended at the foot of the Bema. The path was well paved and not too difficult to traverse. Yet, it is the last few feet, right before the Bema, where Paul struggled the most in his Corinthian ministry.   If Paul had not made it the final few yards, the faith would not have progressed. If Paul had a given up during the most difficult part of his ministry then Love and mercy would not have been preached. God’s message would never have reached the entire city, only those in the synagogue, and the full impact of God’s message would never have been realized.

The “weight of glory” is not a comfortable thing. The command to make disciples and do the work of the kingdom can call us in way we’d never expect. Reaching out to the hurting and unloved; standing up for justice; enduring suffering in honest faith, and making weak and oppressed voices heard. These are challenging yet utterly glorious burdens that we bear as disciples of Jesus.

Being a follower of Jesus is challenging because it demands we go the distance to be faithful disciples. We must follow the journey to its conclusion even though we may travel through the valley of the shadow of death. We may stumble along the way, but our determination and courage must outweigh our fear and anxiety for God is with us. The weight of glory is great, but it indeed worth it!

 

 

A Glimpse of Heaven – Worshiping with Burmese & Burundian Christians

Burmese Zo Immanuel Church
Burmese Zo Immanuel Church Photos by Curtis Compton, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution,         Sept. 18, 2016

That fateful Sunday, we also attended was the Burmese Zo Immanuel Church.  The Zo are the hill people of Burma, and they speak one dialect the fifty or so dialects spoken that that region.  The service was in the sanctuary with about forty people in attendance.  At the front of the sanctuary a projector had been set up with a screen shining slides and lyrics for songs.  When I did research later, I found dozens of images of young people singing solo at the microphone and only a few images of young people or children singing as a group.   Moreover, there seemed to be a large number of youth and children in the congregation as active participants.

Throughout worship, half a dozen young children ran laps down the aisle, crossed in front of the worshipers, and then ran back down the side to the back door in what appeared to be a fantastically fun game of chase.  At one point, while the pastor was delivering remarks in between songs, he clothes-lined a small girl and hoisted her onto the stage.  Plopping her down in front of the microphone he gave her some kind of instructions.  Immediately, the girl recited something memorized to the worshipers, possible a Bible verse.

Online, I found more videos of children and youth leading worship.  They have had young girls dance on stage to English worship recordings.  They have also had what appeared to be the entire youth group assembled on stage singing in their native langue like a youth choir.  Every so often, people would sing in English as well.  The use of both English and the native langue, traditional and popular contemporary Christian worship songs points to a kind of cross-cultural worship experience.   This congregation’s plasticity aided it in cultivating a vibrant ministry with youth and children, only to be outmatched by the Burundian service going on right under their feet.

 

Downstairs, we joined 120 others in the service hosted by the Light Mission Pentecostal

AJC Light Mission Pentecostal Church from Burundi 2
Light Mission Pentecostal Church Photos by Curtis Compton, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution Oct. 9, 2016

Church from Burundi already underway.  A young woman sat down next when the sermon began anyway and began to translate as best as possible.  Our translator told us that this service typically lasts for about four hours.  We sat amid colorful native dress and western suites as a choir danced and sang in front of us.  Several people craned Smartphone’s in the air to capture the visual.  Loud guitar, rhythmic drums, and keyboard accompanied the well rehearsed young people, and in the congregation could be seen some older women with homemade shakers joining along where they sat.  Most of the dancers were dressed in bright prints and women wore elaborate head wraps.

When the choir concluded, two men in suites approached the pulpit under the blessing of an older gentleman.  The older gentleman was explained to be the real head pastor, but the two younger men would be preaching in his stead that morning.  The sermon was preached in Kerndi and quickly translated into Swahili for the worshipers.  Lines were then summarized rather skillfully by our impromptu translator.  She told us later that many people in the congregation are on standby to be translators since the congregation has begun to attract other African refugees who may not understand Kirundi or Swahili.  Indeed, this was the biggest gathering we had been to that day and the congregation had only been meeting there for three years.  It is true that the rapid growth in Christianity is in the Pentecostal sphere.

The text for the sermon was the Valley of Dry Bones from Ezekiel 28.  The message was one of radical hope and the power of the Holy Spirit.  The theme of the Holy Spirit seemed rather fitting for a Pentecostal congregation.  The pastors said that when you are in the power of the Holy Spirit then people can see God in you.  You can be available and empowered to help other people.  The sermon then touched on 1 Corinthians’ 13:4-8 as the worshipers were reminded that the power of the Spirit is love which will never end.

When the sermon concluded, a rug was brought out from the hall way and laid out in front of the pulpit.  There then came the call to the altar for payer and repentance. The people began to sing and call out in disorganized songs as the musician tried to capture the melody.  A few people came forward and prostrated themselves in front of the pastors and several elders.  They leaders lifted up their hands over those on the floor and began to pray all at once.  The congregation joined in with song and prayer as those bowed on the floor kept their faces low.  The altar call finished and the pastors called for more song and rejoicing.

The choir jumped up and began to dance in a free form style.  People clapped their hands and gathered in the aisle moving around one another with huge smiles and laughter.  Some young men sat in the back observing but not getting too close.  As if to tip us up, shouts of “alleluia” were met quickly with “amen!” so my fiancé and I quickly adjusted to make sure we were taking full advantage of the only part of the language we knew.  After the celebration, there was more preaching and singing filling up roughly four straight hours of worship, but we made are exit fully exhausted from our full day of international worship.

Opportunities for Cross-Cultural and Trans-Cultural engagement between all of the different congregations are being strategically cultivated by Rev. Karen Lyons of the Methodist church.  The two most open congregations are the Eritreans and the Burundians because they have been there the longest.  All of the refugees tend to be a little bit wary of interacting with outsiders, and, in light of current political climate, the struggle for people in Clarkson has become even more challenging.  Rev Lyons makes visits to the other services and has invited them into community partnerships in which the UMC members and participate in open table discussion with refugees to offer support and help them assimilate in to the culture.  On the first Sunday of the month, the Burundians and Eritreans join the traditional service for communion and part of worship.  The non-English speaking choirs perform and some hymns are sung together.  Rev. Lyon calls this service “a glimpse of heaven.”

The arrangement of so many culturally diverse people sharing space has had some challenges; especially when I come to the care of the building and of the children.  Pastor Lyon will sometimes feels led to offer constructive criticism to the other pastors, but she has since agreed with them that no criticism will take place on Sunday.  Sunday is a day of celebration for everyone in the building, and all issues that need to be discussed can happen during the week.  When I attended, every non-English speaking service had children who were running in and out of the service.  I thought it was endearing at the time and possibly just a feature of non-Western culture.  When I spoke with Rev. Lyons, she said that the members of the Methodist church really desire more structure for the children.  They are concerned about the care of the building and the safety of older members and the children themselves.  Rev. Lyons started organizing Sunday school with the congregations, but as soon has her native volunteers turned over control to the refugees the program fell apart.  Nevertheless, children are valued in this diverse, inter-cultural community.  The church hosts a successful Vacation Bible School with nearly all refugee children, and of course the whole building is used for the Fugee Academy during the week.

The diverse and flourishing community of Clarkston United Methodist represents a new way of organizing worship.  In one space there are people praising God with dramatically different stories, backgrounds, and cultures.  Sunday worshiper transcends cultural and civic norms as believers share in an act of people assembly and offer new “expressions of Christian unity across time, space, culture, and confession” (Nairobi Statement).  Rev. Lyon said it best, for it is indeed a glimpse of heaven on earth.

Featured Image by Curtis Compton, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Oct. 9, 2016

Worship with Eritreans & Nepalese

The traditional service for Clarkston United Methodist was a gathering of just thirty friends, and the service gave the sense that the glory days of the congregation were behind them.  The pastor was out sick, and there was a supply pastor there to preach. There may have been some concern as to how this church was able to keep the lights on until we were ushered into the other services, each bigger and more vivacious than the last.

We were then escorted behind to a door at the front of the sanctuary where a hall led us to the Eritrean service in the chapel.  The leader of this service was Rev. Dawit Habtemichael who graciously translated some eritrean_church-lr_ltp7nolof his sermon so that we were able to keep up.  There were only about 10 people in the small chapel.  The kids were rolling on the floor until the back door was opened and they were shooed out.  He made a very interesting comparison from the older son in the story to the story of Hagar in Genesis 21:8-21.  In the story, Hagar and Ishmael nearly die from thirst until she sees as spring nearby.  Rev. Habtemichael cleverly argued that in case of the older son and Hagar, both people had access to good things but were covered by spiritual blindness so that they could not see what was right in front of them.  He exhorted his small congregation to refrain from complaining and negativity, calling their attention to the blessings right in front of them.  He pointed out the blindness of everyday people who do not take advantage of God’s grace, and he called on the congregation to open their eyes and be joyful.   I was impressed by the pastor’s preaching, and I found out later that he was a published author on the Eritrean worship experience.

The rest of the service was conducted in a familiar fashion until it came time for the closing prayer.  Rev. Habtemichael called on one of the women in the congregation to pray, and we were all given the signal to stand with bowed heads. The woman’s prayer, conducted in her native tongue, ebbed and flowed with volume and passion for a very long time.  It is difficult to say how long she was praying, but it must have been ten minutes. As she concluded the congregation joined her in a satisfying “amen!”

After that service we joined the Nepalese Free Methodist Believers Church worshiping just across the narrow street in a converted house.  As we entered children were gathered with a few young adults in the foyer of the house coloring and playing with toys.  We guided to through the old kitchen to a connecting room which may have been a dining room in a former life.  The space was cramped and congregants sat in folding chairs with men on the left and women on the right.   Most of the women had small triangles of fabric resting atop their heads, and some people had left their shoes at the door.  We found out later that the unstructured care for the children was main shared characteristic of between all refugee services. Two chairs were quickly procured for us at the back where we sat side by side with me awkwardly straddling the men and women’s sides in the middle of a narrow aisle.

The music struck up and the people joined with guitar, drums, tambourine, and keyboard in a selection of unfamiliar but lively melodies.  Their voices has shuddered when they sang in a fashion pointedly Himalayan.  They clapped their hands in 3/4th time as the music was expressive of a staccato waltz.  The songs were full of movement hinted at their Nepalese Heritage, and one song in particular seemed to conjure up smooth are arm gesticulations and swaying around the room.  Their hands would flit gracefully through the air as they closed their eyes lost in movement.  The display pointed to a deeply spiritual expression of their culture.  For these worshipers, each turn of the wrists represented a connection the Triune God.  Many songs were concluded with a shout of “Alleluia” into the microphone which was met with a chorus of “Alleluia” from the crowd of worshipers.  However, the last few songs did not end in shouts but in an eruption of voices praying and calling out to God hands raised and eyes closed.  These ecstatic cries would go on for several minutes before reaching a crescendo and being concluded.

We sat through the sermon mostly clueless except for when fellow worshipers would give us hints as to what text was being preached.  I gathered at one point that the text was Hebrews 12:1-12.  Every so often, a child would emerge from the back room and wander around looking for attention or candy from one of the women.  At the end of the sermon, some announcement was made concerning us and one other Nepalese woman as visitors.  With no idea what was being said, took the preacher’s body language to mean that we should stand up.  When we did, a few of the young women draped cream colored shawls around our necks.  It was such a moving gift, and we were told (or made to understand) that we were to keep them as a gift from the community.

Bellow is a audio recording from the Nepalese service.

 

To be continued in another post…

Worshiping with Refugees

Between Saturday evening and Sunday night, people from a myriad of cultures speaking many languages gather for worship on the campus of Clarkston United Methodist Church.  In 1990, the city of Clarkston, Georgia was selected by the federal government to be one of the few places in America where legal refugees were to be resettled and start their new lives after leaving a refugee camp.   In just a few short years, the community went from having an active chapter of Ku Klux Klan, to being what is considered by many as the most diverse square mile in the country.  Clarkston

Every person who has been relocated to Clarkston has a unique story, but they all share a kindred struggle to find opportunity and safety in new land.  Most people who resettle in the United States though refugee programs spend an average of seventeen years waiting to be granted asylum in a refugee camp.  Many people marry and have children in the camp while undergoing the vetting process performed by United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) and approval from the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS).  After they are approved, they must pay their own way or borrow money to travel to their new home where they are hopefully connected to a resettlement agency that helps them learn the culture and set up their new home.  Friends of Refugees in one such organization that helps with the resettlement process.  In the course of their work, they have resettled people from over 100 different ethnic backgrounds.

Many people who come seeking asylum are doctors, engineers, and working professionals, but when they arrive in the US most refugees find work in outlying chicken factories.  They travel to and from the factories each day, but on Sunday many of those factory workers commute to a place of worship in which they can experience a few hours celebrating in their native culture.  They can be authentically themselves and authentically human.

CClarkston 2larkston United Methodist Church is microcosm of the diversity and complexity that characterizes this little town.  In 2014 the congregation was approached, by a Burundian Pentecostal group asking if they could rent space.  Before this congregation moved out, they were approached by five other congregations requesting space.

For a Candler assignment, I have researched a few of these worshiping communities.  I’ve deiced to also post this research here on this blog in order to give my friends what the head pastor calls, “a glimpse of heaven.”

To be continued in another post…

Aπόστολος Credo

Two weeks ago, I was amazed to see the students of Northside’s confirmation class encounter God on their retreat to Tiger, Georgia.  Despite a few injuries, the students were able to connect with God through worship, devotions, and practicing the Stations of the Cross.

I had the honor of delivering most of teaching (and most of the candy), in our Saturday class time. The theme for Confirmation is IBAC which stands for “I Believe in the Apostles’ Creed.”  The majority of our discussion in class revolve around the nature creeds and what the Apostle’s Creed means to us.

During the course of our lesson, I stop out students and asked them, what does the term “Apostle’s Creed” really mean?

Credo from which we get the wood creed simply means “I believe” in Latin.  It is the first karl-fredrickson-27504word in the Latin rendering of the text.  Our students remembered this from our class time, but it’s important to understand that belief is different than knowledge.

As Methodists, we emphasized that people encounter God through reason and experience as well as tradition and the Bible. Knowledge is gained through reason and belief is gained through a real experience of Christ.  When we recite the creed, we are not just talking about information gained through reason. We are articulating an experience of the creed as an ordering principal in our lives because we have encountered Jesus.

There are facts about Jesus and the nature of the world which we can know in our minds, but that does not mean anything unless we have been shaped by an experience of the Godhead. Through experience and reason the person is able to say the creed and mean it from the core of their being.  This is what we mean by belief, and this is what we mean by Credo.

Now what exactly is an Apostle?  At first glance, many would argue that apostle, or aπόστολος in Greek, signifies Jesus’ famous 12 Disciples.  I think this is nearly right, but does not quite capture all the nuances of the word.

You see, the Greek word for “disciple” is mathaytes, μαθητής,  and means something like student or follower.  Jesus had a core group of 12 Disciples that followed him but there were other men and women that learned from his teaching too.  In fact, we are all called to be disciples.  On the other hand, apostle, or aπόστολος  in Greek actually means “one who is sent.”  The idea is that one with the title of “Apostle” had learned enough from their teacher to go away to teach others.

Most of the 12 Disciples are also considered Apostles to various lands.  Thomas famously spread the gospel to India and James spread the Gospel to Spain.  Paul claimed to be the Apostle just to Gentiles or non-Jewish people, and in Romans 16:7 he refers to a woman name Junia as an Apostle as well.

The Latin word for Apostles is Missio , and it is where we derive the English term “mission” and “missionary.” Through this tradition Christianity has identified other Apostles in the ministry of St. Patrick in Ireland and St. Boniface among the Germans. aaron-burden-58730.jpg

We we say the Apostle’s Creed in church, we are saying that we believe in the ministry and message of those sent before us.  We set our hearts on a teaching that people have risked life and limb to deliver to us.  We identify with their passion for Christ and the Gospel, and we recognize that if ministry of Jesus to be done then people must be sent.

We are all sent each week from our places of worship into the word to be missionaries.  The benediction of the preacher sends us forth with a message which we have set our hearts upon, and which we agree needs to be shared.  We are charged each week to show the world that God offers forgiveness for sins, resurrection for the body, and the life everlasting.  And when we share that messages, we participate in apostleship too.

Pure in Heart

Mentors, teachers, and the Holy Spirit have all been reminding me lately of a single truth.  It may seem farfetched, but the reality is that in the core, deep inside each one of us there is this thing.  It’s crucial to our existence, to our survival. It is a small organ without which we cannot operate.  We call this organ the heart.

It pumps blood laced with oxygen round and round the body constantly. At all times this organ, this muscle is circulating the life giving chemical to the deepest extremities of the body.  And the second that heart stops so does life. gaelle-marcel-189753.jpg

Interestingly, as life and movement quicken so too does the pumping of the heart.  Exercise and exertion prompt the organ to work harder while rest and sleep calm the heart and send it to a slower state.  The heart then is the mirror of life’s pace.

Now, mentors, teachers, and the Holy Spirit have not been reminding me about the anatomy of the human body. Rather, I have continually been drawback to idea of the heart that is found in Matthew 5:8:

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

It may seem farfetched, but the reality is that in the core, deep inside each one of us there is this thing.  It’s crucial to our existence, to our survival.  It too is called the heart.  And although invisible, it too is the mirror of life’s pace.

It guides the life of the human soul by circulating our purpose to deepest extremities of the mind and body.  It quickens and moves the mind and body to act when that purpose is awakened.  And the second that heart loses its purpose or becomes too confused to execute its purpose then our spiritual life grinds to a halt.

For many of us, the material heart and the invisible heart are also linked.  For example joy,  and pride can literally be felt in our chest cavity when our hear’s purpose is wonderfully affirmed.  Likewise, pain and loss can felt when our heart’s purpose is tragically denied.

Yet, the problem I have been facing is of the confused heart. In a fast passed, high demand society we have so many things pulling us in so many different ways.  The temptation is to try to split our focus and lose sight of our calling in Christ in order to try to be all things to all people.  The strength of our heart is scarified and our vision of God becomes cloudy.

One of my mentors encouraged me recently to cling to a purity of heart in my approach to God.  He argued that those called to work for God’s Kingdom must be single-minded, focused, and purposeful in order to rise above the distractions which might drag one away from the task of one’s calling.

Another mentor put it this way, “If you know who you are, then you’ll know what to do.” When caught up in the confusion and demands of life, we must quite the world around us and lean into the core of who we are. We must peer into the mirror of our heart to see the vision God has for our life and purpose.  We must move from the inside out in order to fulfill our vocation.

For God has stored up a purpose in our hearts just waiting to be pumped through our bodies in service to Christ’s Kingdom if only we would pay attention.

“Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling me who I am.”
Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation

Here I Am

It’s about mid-term here at Candler, and in just a few days I and many others will involved in a furry of tests and papers.  One such test which I will have to study quite hard for is my second Hebrew exam.bible-hands

It’s no secret that language study is difficult, and I knew that going in.  Hebrew is no
exception, requiring somewhere around four to six hours each week in regular study time not including test. It is a demanding task.

But it’s also my favorite class.  No, I’m not very good at it, but the tiny, incremental progress involved with studying Hebrew has been so rewarding.

This morning, in a poor attempt to procrastinate from studying, I began to think of passages in Old Testament scripture I might be curious to investigate with my extremely primitive knowledge of the language.  Then it hit me:

In so many of the call stories from the Old Testament, we find our soon to be Biblical hero going about daily life without a thought for the holy.  Some are tending sheep and others   Suddenly, God calls to them by name:

“Abraham!” ” Jacob!” “Moses!” All called by name from the mouth of the most Holy.  Abraham is both called to sacrifice, and then he is called to stave his hand (Genesis 22:1-19). Jacob called from the famine of the land to sanctuary of Egypt (Genesis 46:1-4).  An, of course, Moses called to from a burning bush to deliver the people out of the sanctuary of Egypt which had turned into painful and abusive slavery for God’s people (Exodus 3:4).

All three of these people respond to God’s call in the same way, simply “here I am!” hands

It is an innocent response. It is an open response.  It reminds me of a teacher taking role in school.  These three raise their hand when God call’s there name completely unaware of what is in store for them.  They have no idea that their stories would be told for thousands of years.

The phrase “here I am” is translated from the Hebrew הִנֵּה or hin-nay, and it really has no equivalent in English.  We find it other places in scripture usually when the text is translated as “Behold!” or “Look!” Yet, these really don’t capture the full meaning of the term.

Hin-nay really is used to indicate the presence of something. It is used to highlight and draw attention. And I think, in the example of these call stories, it is used to draw attention and offer openness to God.

I believe we are to have that same openness towards God.  We are to lift our hands eager to be sent to join in God’s transforming work through Christ. We are called to use our prayers, presence, gifts, service, and witness to change at least a single life.  Serving God’s Kingdom and building on the incremental progress which is difficult, which is demanding, but so rewarding.

And, do not be fooled. We are all called to do God’s work, with eager heart and open hands we must respond to God’s call with Hin-nay, ‘here I am.’

As the song from James Kilbane goes:

Here I am Lord, Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

Deliver

Lately, I’ve had several people close to me endure a great deal of suffering.  I love these people very dearly.  But it’s interesting because I know them from such different areas of my life and their pain is so very different.  One pain is physical while the other is emotional.  One pain is chronic while the other came on very suddenly.  One pain may have a cure although it has been extremely elusive.  The other pain promises no cure in this life.

I suppose most faithful Christians have a list of good people they pray for each night, good people who shouldn’t be suffering as they do.   And when we remember (or at least when I remember) we pray that God will do something about this pain.

These prayers asking God to help, comfort, and healing I think could rightly fall under the single title of “Deliverance.”

Often in the Bible, the text will often use the term in connection with protection from enemies or victory in war effort.  For example, after David was delivered from the hand of King Saul who was seeking to kill him he wrote this Pslam:

I love You, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,  My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;  My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, And I am saved from my enemies.

-Psalm 18:1-3

This Psalm is a moving poem of God’s faithfulness in time of conflict. However, many of us today would hardly think that we have any real enemies lying in wait for us outside our doors.  At least, not in the way David did. phone

No. For us in America today, the enemies we have lying in wait for us usually sit on the other end of a simple phone call.

A phone call that tells us exactly what we don’t what to hear, or couldn’t even imagine hearing:

“The cancer is back.”

“There’s been an accident.”

“I’m sorry, but things just aren’t working out.”

Our enemies lie in wait for us, and what are we to do?

In the Lord’s Prayer, there a very simple line that we repeat each week in worship, “and deliver us from evil.”  This prayer that Jesus taught us and encourages us to keep such an important part of our faith walk.

Jesus knew we would enter into evil times of suffering.  He himself was not immune to the suffering of this world.  However, the fact that we say the “deliver us from evil” in the Lords prayer means two things.

First, there is real evil and brokenness in the world that we may experience.  This is not a test. This is not a challenge.  And it is something other than God’s intent.

Secondly, because evil is never God’s will for our lives we should be able to ask for deliverance.

Weekly, sometimes daily, in churches across the world we pray for deliverance, remembering that Jesus has gone before us praying, working, living, dying, and rising again to deliver us from evil into God’s Kingdom.

Telling the Story

Храм_Спаса_на_крови_7…and they were amazed at His teaching, for His message was with authority.

-Luke 4:32

On my second trip to Russia this year (I can’t believe I took a second trip either), my sweet fiancée and I visited Moscow and Saint Petersburg.  I could tell perhaps a hundred stories from that visit.  I could tell you about becoming overwhelmed in the Moscow Metro.  I could tell you about our existential crisis in the Hermitage Museum.  I could even tell you about our varied encounters with Asian tourists.

13403806_10207150519137379_3759924832866256002_oHowever, one of my favorite memories of our Russia adventure was our visit to the Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood.  The church is named in memory the Russian Tsar who was assassinated in the very location the church was built.

In addition to having a pretty spectacular name, the church itself is one of the most awe-inspiring things I have ever witnessed.  It is dripping in mosaic tiles, having arguably the most mosaics of any structure with tiles covering over 7,500 square meters.  It took over 20 years to build and, like most churches, suffered from vandalism and neglect under the Soviets.

Nevertheless, when you walk through the doorway of this onion-domed cathedral you are immediately thrust an elaborately beautiful depiction of the gospel.  Each mosaic section was roughly 10 feet tall and each one depicts a different scene from Jesus’ life.

Towering above the crowds of people you see Jesus teaching the disciples, breaking bread, walking on water, and blessing little children.  My personal favorite was a mosaic of Jesus and the women at the well from John’s Gospel.  The clarity of the images was phenomenal despite being composed entirely of tiny, colored tiles.

It’s difficult for me to overstate how moved I was at this site.  I was surrounded by the story of Jesus.  The Story.  The one I knew but somehow I still needed to be told.  I felt as if I had been bathed in the gospel; that the truest and deepest parts of Jesus’ life had penetrated my core, my soul.

Looking back, I am reminded of the wonderful hymn “The Old, Old Story:”13415658_10207150484136504_3496266666364622301_o

Tell me the old, old story of unseen things above,
Of Jesus and His glory, of Jesus and His love.
Tell me the story simply, as to a little child,
For I am weak and weary, and helpless and defiled.

Tell me the story slowly, that I may take it in,
That wonderful redemption, God’s remedy for sin.
Tell me the story often, for I forget so soon;
The early dew of morning has passed away at noon.

Tell me the old, old story, tell me the old, old story,
Tell me the old, old story, of Jesus and His love.

There are many ways to read scripture.  We read scripture to learn and to find answers.  We  read in times of stress or worry. Yet, it is also important to engage the gospel with the expectation to be amazed.

Even during Jesus’ lifetime he was literally amazing his followers.  His teaching, his miracles, and his presence had a tendency to overwhelm those around him.  His disciples would lose themselves in awe and wonder.

Being lost in wonder is the heart of true worship, and that wonder holds the potential to transform the soul.  The words and actions of Jesus still hold the power to bring the believer into a state of awe, even if we have heard the story a thousand times.

Although we may not always be in a beautiful or awe-inspiring place, I believe that we need only open our hearts in order to be lost in wonder to the story of Jesus.