And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake.
Mark 15:37
I have very strong and confusing memories about falling asleep when I wasn’t supposed to. Growing up, I struggled with insomnia even from a very young age. And, as many teenagers do, I also struggled with boredom. Math class was an especially vulnerable place for me. While taking algebra my sophomore year, I began to fall asleep in class so frequently that I was concerned for my own health. I began to think I had some sort of math allergy or math induced narcolepsy. I will also confess that I frequently fell asleep, or at least nearly fell asleep, while in church. Adventures late Saturday night, comfy pews, in the rhythmic voice of the preacher made it nearly impossible for me to keep my eyes open.
Looking back, I think my math teacher and the pastor of my church had something in common. You see, I was falling asleep because I wasn’t paying attention. Moreover, I wasn’t paying attention because it all sound the same and I didn’t really understand. It felt like I was trying to wade through mental darkness. Eventually, I would become weary of trudging. My mind would give up, and I fall asleep.
During this season of Advent, we are awaiting and preparing ourselves for Jesus’ arrival on Christmas morning. However, Advent is also a time when we wait with renewed anticipation for Jesus’ return.
In Mark’s passage, Jesus exhorts us as his disciples to keep awake and keep watch for his return. Jesus knows that we are prone to boredom and distraction. Jesus knows that when our minds wander and we begin to daydream and eventually fall asleep spiritually.
I think the reason why we are tempted to fall asleep spiritually is the same reason I fell asleep in math class all the time. We don’t understand. We have trouble seeing where God’s is working around us in small ways. When we don’t notice what we think that God is not doing anything. We become board because we don’t notice what is going on around us. As we become board, we drift into a spiritual coma.
The thing is, Jesus’ presence here on Earth is already being made manifest. While we may not live in the bright sunrise of Christ’s second coming, but we are certainly not left totally in the dark. There are lights already shining around us if we keep awake and pay attention. God’s grace is prevenient and prevalent if we only take the time to understand.
Waiting for Jesus in not quite like waiting in the dark. We live in period of dusk filled dawn. We can choose to roll over and go back to sleep. Yet, if we do, we will miss the beauty of the sunrise and the “new glorious morn” which no person will be able to ignore.






My new surname is Newkirk which means “new church” in Dutch. In a way, our marriage represents the founding of a new community of faith. Our family is a new little church, faithful to God through times of blessing and times of struggle. I decided to change my name as marker of the new spiritual reality that we are entering into together.




